


to save a monster

by labyrinth_lockpick



Series: Post-Game AU [2]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: M/M, Memory Loss, Nightmares, Post Game AU, Temporary Character Death, no beta we die like men and i'm still scared of being beheld, this is just what happened in part one but with extra bits and gordon's perspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26476357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/labyrinth_lockpick/pseuds/labyrinth_lockpick
Summary: It's been two months since Gordon escaped Black Mesa, and things are starting to look up.
Relationships: Benrey & Gordon Freeman, Benrey & Tommy Coolatta, Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Tommy Coolatta & Gordon
Series: Post-Game AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1919146
Comments: 11
Kudos: 157





	1. the door

**Author's Note:**

> alright, let's see if i can figure out how to do more than one chapter

It's been two months since Gordon escaped Black Mesa, and things are starting to look up.

Sure, things were pretty rough at first. For the first few weeks, he couldn't handle staying in his house alone. Tommy was willing to move in, and with his help, he was able to finally obtain some sense of normalcy. At least, as much normalcy as one could get while also knowing the Science Team.

But there's still something that feels  _off_. Something he can't quite place. And something that has to do with how strange Tommy's been acting lately.

The sound of Sunkist's paws clack-clacking on the hardwood as she pushes Tommy into the living room makes Gordon look up from the coffee machine.

"Hey, Tommy! Good morning."

"Good-good morning, Mr. Freeman!" He sits down on the couch and gives Sunkist a kiss on the forehead as she curls up next to him, (now the size of a normal golden retriever,) reaching for the remote sitting on the arm next to him and turning on the TV.

And there it is. That  _weird_ , nervous kind of quiet. Tommy used to chat a lot about almost everything when he first woke up, moving from topic to topic to topic, like he was remembering everything he'd forgotten the day before. But now? He just sits in silence.

Gordon isn't going to let this go unaddressed any longer. If something's bothering Tommy, there's no way he's gonna leave him to deal with it himself. Not if he can help it!

He grabs his coffee and sits on the other side of Sunkist, who rolls onto her back and kicks a foot into his chin lovingly. " _ Wow. Thanks. _ "

Tommy grins at the dog as she bonks her head into his leg. "S- _ Sunkist _ , that's not... not very polite."

Gordon lightly pushes the paw away and sets his coffee on one of the coasters on the end table, eyeing the forecast displayed on the TV. "The weather's supposed to be nice today. Maybe we should go out to eat, maybe bring her?"

"A-actually, Mr. Freeman, I'm going to be busy today."

"Busy? Busy with what?"

"Ah." Tommy looks away. "W-well, it's not super important."

"I wouldn't mind hearing."

The man ponders on this for a moment, before heaving a sigh. "Well, I was going- going to need to ask you eventually... Mr. Freeman, how do you- did you feel about Benrey?"

Yeah, okay, this can't lead anywhere good.

Gordon exhales through his teeth. "That's...  _complicated_? I know you  told me he wasn't acting of his own accord, but... I still can't help but feel a  _little_... angry at him, you know?" Not the entire truth, but something close to it. He would rather die than say how he  _really_ felt about him. "Why?"

Tommy nods, his face set in an unreadable expression. "What if I- I told you he  _isn't really gone_?"

His anxiety spikes. "I'd say that's pretty on-brand for him."

This gets a laugh out of the other man. "Well I s-suppose you're right, he's always been a- a stubborn little thing when it comes to mortality. Clinging to life like... like an ant clinging to a leaf."

"So he's still clinging to that leaf, huh?" Gordon shifts around where he's sitting, prompting Sunkist to jump off and trot off to do whatever she wants.

"He sure is. My dad visited last week, while you were at Joshua's p-parent-teacher conferences. He told me Benrey's in the space outside of the world. My dad used to go there a lot, but now that Benrey's there, he can't, a-apparently."

"This... Tommy, this is  _super important_ , actually? Why can't he go there?"

"The door won't open."

" _ Door _ ?"

"Oh, yes, the door to the Void is usually accessible to... p-people like him and I, but something about Benrey being trapped there is stopping him from opening the door."

"Oh." That's a lot to take in, actually. "So...  _that's_ what you've been so quiet about?"

Tommy lets out an exasperated sigh. "Was it  _that_ obvious?"

"A little, but that's fine. So, what now? You're going to take him out?"

Tommy grimaces. "Well, that's why I was meaning to talk to you. I found a way to get the door to appear for me yesterday, but whenever I try to open it, it- it breaks my focus and disappears. 

"It  _can_ be opened, I've been able to t-turn the handle a little bit before it does, but my dad can't do it. I think it only works for people he... he trusts? Or likes? So I just, I don't know, I thought..."

The room goes quiet for a moment.

Gordon breaks the silence. "You want me to go in there and bring him out."

"Y-yeah. I just thought, since, you know, the Coomers have been caught up in planning their honeymoon, and Darnold... I- I'm sure he still doesn't want any part in our- our  _tomfoolery._ But I'm worried about Benrey being in there for so long, I... You- you don't have to if you don't want to! I get it, I do, I just..."

"Tommy, you're my friend, and this is something you've been working your ass off for. Obviously, I'm gonna help you, dude, even if it sucks a little."  _Bit of an understatement, there._ "But do you think he trusts me enough to let me in?"

"I- I think so. It's worth a-a shot." He smiles at him, his eyes crinkling a bit at the corners. " _T_ _hank you_ , Gordon, really. It means a lot to me."

He shrugs and smiles back. An unsure one, but a genuine one nonetheless. "It's nothing, dude. How about we come back here at maybe... Five? Just to make some quick preparations, rest up some more... get groceries?"

"We're out of milk."

"Preee-cisely." Gordon reaches over to his now-cooled coffee and takes a sip.

Today is going to get messy, he knows it. He's starting to wonder what the hell he got himself into.

"Like I said, y-you don't need to do this, Gordon." Tommy is standing in the living room, preparing to summon the door. He looks anxious.

Gordon waves his hand dismissively. "This is your friend, man. He's important to you. Of course I'm going to help you."

"But he's also- also someone you... you  _don't like_. I'm just saying, if you w-want to back out, it's totally okay!"

"Well, I don't  _want_ to back out. I'm helping you do this. Got anything to brief me on, before I go in?"

Tommy chews the inside of his cheek, picking at his new orange nail polish. "Well, really just things you- you should already know. Don't stay in there too long or I might a-accidentally shut you in, get out if you can't find him, or he... gets  _confused_ and... Really, just make sure this is an in-and-out m-mission."

"Alright, sounds easy enough. I think I'm ready." Gordon claps his hands and gives an uneasy smile.  Is _he ready? Is he_ really?

As Tommy holds out his hand and the air swirls, summoning the door, he decides that _there's only one way to find out._ He reaches forward, turning the knob and stepping through.

Unsurprisingly, it feels a lot like the portals in Xen. When his feet land on solid ground, in the  _Void_ , he feels a little nauseous, like on the rare occasions where he gets carsick.

He shakes his his head. "Alright,  _look for Benrey_. Benrey, Benrey, Benrey..." A few meters in front of him, he sees a figure curled up on the floor. " _Benrey._ "

As he runs closer, he realizes he's not conscious. His eyes are shut tight under the strange shadow cast by his hair. His  _hair._ _He doesn't have his helmet._ It's a strange sight. One of his hands is white-knuckled as he grips his tattered sleeve, shaking violently.

_Is he having a nightmare?_

"Hey, Benrey!" He kneels down, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him up into a sitting position, shaking him a little. " _ Benrey! _ "

Gordon sees the other's eyes crack open, making a small sound. He sighs in relief. "...You're up? Oh, thank God. I don't know how long Tommy-"

He stops when he hears Benrey murmur something. "...What was that?"

"don't know... benrey...?"

His grip loosens in his confusion, but quickly tightens as he realizes his time is limited. "That's... okay. We can figure out what happened here later. Let's just go back."

"...go. back...?"

Gordon lifts him up, steadying him against his side. He feels Benrey press his forehead into his shoulder and flinches, his face warming. "Yeah, man, Tommy's worried sick about you-" They're about to step through the doorway, now. "Okay, you're going to need to hold on tight. This part made me feel a bit sick at first."

As they stumble through the doorway, the sickness fades. Benrey's legs buckle and they collapse on the rug together.

Tommy shakes his head, the door collapsing into nothing, and falls back, too. He scrambles forward to sit Gordon up. "Are-are you okay? Everything turn out alright?"

Gordon grumbles, holding his head. "Mostly. I'm fine, but something's up with... Benrey." They look over to where the uniformed man lays, blinking tiredly, like he's coming out of a dream. The way he was trembling in the Void, he probably is.

"He-he's probably exhausted. He's been in there for a g-good few months. I don't think that's very good for a person."

"No kidding." Gordon stands and helps Tommy move him to the couch, before following him into the kitchen. They sit at the table, processing what happened.

The silence is back.

"S-so." Tommy says. " _...What now? _ "


	2. friends

What happens next is unfortunately anticlimactic. After a long moment of deafening quiet, Tommy stands up, takes off his hat, and trudges to his bedroom. No doubt to get back the energy he exerted to keep the door open. 

Before the door shuts, he hears the quiet jingling of Sunkist's collar as she greets her tired friend.

Gordon sits at the table for a good half-hour, just collecting his thoughts, before he hears a muffled shifting from the living room, just barely filtering through the TV chatter.  _ He's awake _ _,_ he thinks.

Hesitantly, he steps into the room, and meets Benrey's eyes. There's a strange sort of bewilderment in them, like he doesn't know what he's seeing.

"hey."

"Uh, wow. Hey." 

Gordon walks over and sits next to him.

"you're... i know you, right? you're the guy from my dreams."

" _ I- _ you don't-" This completely knocks Gordon off his feet,  _ again _ . "...You seriously don't remember me, Benrey?"

"benrey...  _ oh _ , that's what i'm called, isn't it? you called me that before."

He goes pauses for a moment, trying to get his thoughts in order. "The Void must've  _ really _ messed you up... I'll talk with Tommy about it later. How do you feel?"

Benrey doesn't answer right away, eyes transfixed on the TV. "tommy...  _hat_... " He turns back. "i'm fine. what's your name?"

" Oh , right. My bad. I'm Gordon. We... know each other."

"okay." His attention's back on the TV, now. "am i going to remember who you and tommy are?"

"I hope so. Tommy missed you, and I don't think he'll want you to be... Like this. You two are friends."

"are  _ we _ friends?"

Gordon ponders on this. "You know what? Yeah. We can be friends."

"that's nice." 

Benrey closes his eyes and leans against Gordon, causing him to jump a little in surprise, before leaning back into it, his face heating up again.

And so the two friends sit in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoo, figured it out!
> 
> just a shorter after-scene :3 hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> just to be clear, tommy was intending on asking darnold about helping BEFORE asking gordon, but when gordon brought it up and decided he'd do it, he scrapped the idea. that's what he meant by being busy that day :)


End file.
